creating boundless space in our lives

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Often, when we are beset with relationship problems, we want the other person to change. We do everything we can to change our friends, family members, partners, significant others. It seems that the harder we try, the more difficult the relationship becomes. But when we step back and allow them to be who they are, they begin to change. Why? Because we brought true understanding to the relationship. We go beyond our concept of  other people and truly feel their essence. We then realize that there is no problem at all, and that each moment is the best.




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When things go wrong in our life, we tend to put all our attention to it. It somehow gets magnified and takes on a whole new level of pain.

But if we shift our focus and instead realize that it is just one aspect of the tapestry of life, we are changing our perspective. We bring a different level of energy to our existence. We see the whole rather than the parts. We see that life is always balanced. There is joy, which makes us happy;  and mistakes, which make us sad. Both are parts of the tapestry of life. One can not exist without the other. When seen from afar, each hue, each color, blends well to create a colorful fabric of our existence. Everything is as it should be.

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When we look at relationships from long -term perspective, we see it in a different light.  A shift in focus brings a new meaning into it. For example: if this is the only relationship we will have for 50 years, and we can’t get a divorce and we can’t leave, what will we do to improve it? This stops us from running away from reality. We have no choice but to surrender.

Thus we go beyond concepts and illusions and really feel the essence of our loved ones. We love and accept them for who they are. They, in turn, feel our love and this gives them the courage to be themselves. There is a true meeting of two beings. The relationship starts to blossom.

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Quote from the Dalai Lama

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Here is a lovely quote from the Dalai Lama:

“Human beings are social animals. What brings us together is love and affection – anger drives us apart. Just as we use physical hygiene to protect our health, we need emotional hygiene to cleanse ourselves of negative emotions if we are to achieve peace of mind.”

–I find that we are constantly bombarded by negativity, and we have to be vigilant about cleansing our emotions consistently by allowing the present moment to be as it is, in order to attain peace and tranquility.



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When I search for happiness, it seems to be elusive. I may catch a glimpse of it  yet it is gone before I know it. But when I stop searching for happiness and enjoy the present moment, I experience peace and tranquility, which makes me happy. It’s like a butterfly – it flies away when I try to catch it. Only when I am still and let it be, that it comes and sits on my shoulder.

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Every time I add something to the present moment–whether it be a thought or a reaction– I am creating unhappiness for myself.  I have a demand or expectation that is not met, and this causes me stress or anxiety. But when I observe the present moment as it is, I create space for reality to happen. I am compelled to do right action, and what I need comes to me effortlessly.

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Happiness is our natural state. It is something that is within us. We can not lose it and nobody can take it away from us. It is who we are. But why then are we unhappy? Why can we not feel the happiness within? Because we identify with the ephemeral things in our life. We chase forms that are here today and gone tomorrow.  We are in a constant state of agitation.

But when we drop our identification with things, suddenly life gets better. We discard our illusions and concepts so we see the beauty around us. We feel our essence within and that of other creatures. We become one with life and realize that it is wonderful. We don’t need to add anything to it.