creating boundless space in our lives

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Photo by S. M.

When we are in a relationship, it seems that problems often crop up. The issues vary from financial, emotional, spiritual, physical or mental.  It all boils down to one thing: we want the forms in our lives to satisfy us, which they can’t. This often leads to frustration, sadness, anxiety, or unhappiness. And we make it worse by replaying the stories in our head.

How much better it would be if instead of reacting to forms, we watch the forms come and go. We do this for no other reason than to observe and understand. We study the play of forms without getting entangled with them. We surrender. The strange thing is that when we surrender, the forms change and become benevolent. What was unbearable becomes tolerable, even beautiful. Why? Because once we become soft and yielding, we become open to life and all its bounty and glory.  We realize that as we move deeper into the relationship, the need for words disappear and is replaced by stillness. And it is through stillness that we gain a new perspective so the relationship begins to flower and flourish.



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Everything that happens, good or bad, is interwoven into the fabric of our existence.  One polar opposite can not exist without the other. The tapestry of life is colorful, beautiful, and powerful. It cannot exist on one single thread but needs other myriad threads to be whole.

Our mistake lies in wanting only one side  (good things) and avoiding the other (bad things). We lose our balance because  our attention is focused on a tiny aspect of life, not on life itself. There is balance everywhere if we only open ourselves to this truth.

The key is to allow things and people to be as they are. This lets us go deeper into awareness so we lose our rigid concepts. We step out of our mind and see things from a higher perspective. We realize that everything, good or bad, was meant to be. We learn that reality is whole and indivisible and can not be otherwise. Everything has its place and purpose in the vastness of the universe. We then become open to life so life lives through us and brings us to the perfect moment.

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Photo by S. M.

When we are in a state of awareness, we detach ourselves from the situation. We become an observer. We watch things as if it were happening to somebody else. We get out of our rigid concepts and feel the balance that is in everything.

We know that everything has a purpose and we go with the flow of life. Labels no longer bother us. The polarities (good/bad, happiness/unhappiness) cease to affect us.

We see things from a higher perspective. We then stop trying to change people and situations. The strange thing is that once we give up our need to change something or someone, change happens effortlessly. Why? Because we stepped outside our ego and allowed space to come into our lives. It is this space–where polarities don’t exist–that brings about the change. We are then able to experience life to its fullest.

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Each one of us is a gift to this world. Our existence is unique, rare and precious. And we have within  a treasure that is abundant and rich, and is connected with everything.

Yet we don’t know or feel this truth because our mind is preoccupied. We are focused on the content of our lives — which is problematic and ephemeral– and not on life itself. Life is.  It is already full and complete now. We don’t need to add anything to it to make it better. 


When we realize this truth, we become open to life. We embrace life and everything that comes with it. In doing so, we bring forth the gifts that have been hiding within us and share it with every being.

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There is so much upheaval in relationships today. There is happiness and aliveness but also pain, drama, conflict, anxiety, depression, anger and all other negative emotions. We seem to be in a roller coaster of emotions, with the negative emotions taking control of our lives. But if we look closely, we can boil down the dysfunction to one thing: there is no space in our relationships which allows us to be who we are. We impose our concepts on each other so there is no true relationship. Our minds and hearts are close.

How can we  go beyond the dysfunction and experience the joy of enlightened relationships? We start by observing and watching ourselves and our loved ones without judgment.  We don’t try to change “what is” into “what it should be”.  We allow each other to be who we are. We open our hearts and minds and welcome space.

We realize that as we move deeper into our relationships, the need for words go away and is replaced by silence. When we become still, we bring an end to duality (good/bad, high/low, happiness/unhappiness) and are able to connect with our loved ones  on a deeper level. Out of this current of awareness comes the solution or right answer. This is when change starts to happen.





When we allow our pure self to come forth, we shower abundance and joy to every being around us.  Trees, flowers and people want to be in our presence because we give out pure joy that  has no opposite.

But why is it hard to be in touch with our essence? Because it is covered up by the mud of our incessant thinking. We don’t allow things to happen. We are constantly fighting the present moment: we are burdened by the past and worried about the future. We are focused on the myriad forms that surround us and forget the space that allows all things to be.

If we start by observing what is happening without judging or labeling, we are making progress. We let the drama play out. We observe the interplay of forms without getting entangled with them. This non-labeling or non-judging stops our mind and we are then able to feel the aliveness that is within us.

Our true essence lies pure and vibrant underneath our various forms.  It is untouched by anything that we did or was done to us. It is like gold that is hidden under the mud. If we pick it up and wipe away the mud, the gold sparkles and shines.





We are often weighed down by the stories in our head. There is so much energy associated with our thoughts, most of which are connected with the past and future. We regret something that happened or did not happen in the past. Or, we are worried about things that will happen in the future. We neglect to see the beauty that is everywhere because we are preoccupied with the mind-created stories.

As we know, stories have a beginning, a middle, and an ending. They are composed of  words that paint a picture or create an image in our mind. It is our way of understanding or coping with the various situations in our life. However, life is more than just the forms or images that occur. It is also the vast space that is full of limitless, vibrant, infinite wisdom and energy.

Unfortunately, we identify with the stories and forms  that pass through our existence (whether it is a person, thing, or thought) and become entangled with them. We are drawn in by the tears, frustration, stress, or drama, which are fleeting. We become imprisoned by forms because we don’t sense the space that is between, in, and around them.

How do we become free? We start by observing what is happening without comment or judgment. We allow things, people and situation to be as they are. We break the link between our thoughts and emotions and bring in space. We become soft and yielding instead of hard and rigid.

We let go of forms and go beyond duality (good/bad, happiness/unhappiness, high/low). We are then able to feel the stillness inside us, which connects us with all that is. This when the answer, the solution, or right action happens.

The very purpose of our being here is to bring space into our lives. To let life unfold as it was meant to be.