creating boundless space in our lives

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Photo by S. M.

When we are in a relationship, it seems that problems often crop up. The issues vary from financial, emotional, spiritual, physical or mental.  It all boils down to one thing: we want the forms in our lives to satisfy us, which they can’t. This often leads to frustration, sadness, anxiety, or unhappiness. And we make it worse by replaying the stories in our head.

How much better it would be if instead of reacting to forms, we watch the forms come and go. We do this for no other reason than to observe and understand. We study the play of forms without getting entangled with them. We surrender. The strange thing is that when we surrender, the forms change and become benevolent. What was unbearable becomes tolerable, even beautiful. Why? Because once we become soft and yielding, we become open to life and all its bounty and glory.  We realize that as we move deeper into the relationship, the need for words disappear and is replaced by stillness. And it is through stillness that we gain a new perspective so the relationship begins to flower and flourish.



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When we lose something, we feel incomplete, even worthless. It is as if there is a hole in the fabric of our existence. And so we strive to replace that which we have lost–be it money, possessions, or relationships. We are fixated on fleeting forms in our lives so we are in a constant state of agitation. Nothing we do will ever be good enough.

We are out of balance because we only see forms and not the space in which forms happen. The way to regain our balance is to realize that when we are reduced to nothing, it is life’s way of creating space in our lives so the universe can come in and take care of us. And it does a far better job than what we, in our limited capacity can, because  it connects us to the totality, where everything has a place and purpose.

What is lost on the level of form is gained on the level of essence. We move to a different, higher level of consciousness and are able to experience the beauty, abundance and fullness of life.


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Everything that happens, good or bad, is interwoven into the fabric of our existence.  One polar opposite can not exist without the other. The tapestry of life is colorful, beautiful, and powerful. It cannot exist on one single thread but needs other myriad threads to be whole.

Our mistake lies in wanting only one side  (good things) and avoiding the other (bad things). We lose our balance because  our attention is focused on a tiny aspect of life, not on life itself. There is balance everywhere if we only open ourselves to this truth.

The key is to allow things and people to be as they are. This lets us go deeper into awareness so we lose our rigid concepts. We step out of our mind and see things from a higher perspective. We realize that everything, good or bad, was meant to be. We learn that reality is whole and indivisible and can not be otherwise. Everything has its place and purpose in the vastness of the universe. We then become open to life so life lives through us and brings us to the perfect moment.

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Photo by S. M.

When we are in a state of awareness, we detach ourselves from the situation. We become an observer. We watch things as if it were happening to somebody else. We get out of our rigid concepts and feel the balance that is in everything.

We know that everything has a purpose and we go with the flow of life. Labels no longer bother us. The polarities (good/bad, happiness/unhappiness) cease to affect us.

We see things from a higher perspective. We then stop trying to change people and situations. The strange thing is that once we give up our need to change something or someone, change happens effortlessly. Why? Because we stepped outside our ego and allowed space to come into our lives. It is this space–where polarities don’t exist–that brings about the change. We are then able to experience life to its fullest.





Everything in the universe has essence; otherwise it will not exist. Every stone, bird, tree, flower, bee, mountain, stream, are natural forms that have an inner, timeless beauty. When we look at them, we see life in its joyous, abundant perfection. And the wonderful thing is that we are connected with this abundance through our own existence. We are already rich and perfect now.

However, we can’t feel this perfection because we impose our rigid expectations on life. We want life to cater to us. We don’t feel enough, so we look outside ourselves for satisfaction. We constantly chase money, fame, approval, and praise, which are fleeting and always leave us with a sense of unhappiness.  But if we allow things to be as they are, we bring space into our existence. It is this space that gives us a new perspective on things. Life will then bring us to the perfect moment which is richer, deeper and fuller beyond our comprehension.

As Anthony De Mello puts it, the finest word is one that is not spoken, the finest action is one that is not done and the finest change is one that is not willed.

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Each one of us is a gift to this world. Our existence is unique, rare and precious. And we have within  a treasure that is abundant and rich, and is connected with everything.

Yet we don’t know or feel this truth because our mind is preoccupied. We are focused on the content of our lives — which is problematic and ephemeral– and not on life itself. Life is.  It is already full and complete now. We don’t need to add anything to it to make it better. 


When we realize this truth, we become open to life. We embrace life and everything that comes with it. In doing so, we bring forth the gifts that have been hiding within us and share it with every being.

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Spring is a time for new beginnings. We throw out the seeds of our old self so these can  connect with other nutrients floating around us. The universe then combines all the ingredients, creates something new and wonderful, and gives it back to us. This is how we gain a perspective, a new insight, a creative idea. We don’t even need to make change happen–it just happens when we go with the flow of life. It is through the dying of our old self that our new self emerges, like a caterpillar coming out of its cocoon to become a beautiful butterfly.