Oftentimes we let other people’s comments and thoughts affect our lives. A friend throws a a look or comment our way and we give him/her our response (positive or negative). It is like hitting a ball that the other throws at us. For example: you are enjoying your day when a friend calls to tell you that she was dumped by her spouse/significant other. You suddenly feel your spirits take a dive. You want to protect her from the pain and unhappiness caused by the breakup so you tell her that things will get better and she will find somebody else. That other guy was a jerk who didn’t deserve her. You are now making stories to cover up the pain, which adds another layer of unhappiness on top of the layer of suffering that she is experiencing. In other words, when your friend threw the ball of despair to you, you responded by hitting the ball back so the cycle of despair continues.
Instead of perpetuating despair, why not try something different? Why not let your friend feel the pain without making up stories? Just let her experience the pain, suffering, and despair that she feels at that moment without inserting your thoughts and opinions. There may be a lot of crying and blaming but just observe what is happening. You are giving your friend space. You are dropping the ball. You are letting the formless (universe) flow into the form (situation) so that things lose their harshness and become gentle and benevolent. The pain just becomes an energy movement that is experienced against the background of space that surrounds it. Healing happens this way. There is an intelligence and wisdom in each situation (no matter how bad) that is hiding and will only show its face once you let things be. Remember this: the universe loves you and cares for you but you have to give it space to do its work.