The way to deal with pain is to allow it to be there. Don’t run away from it. Don’t suppress it. Don’t deny it. Don’t blame other people. Just feel the emotion–that raw energy inside you–without adding stories to it. At first it is disconcerting and uncomfortable because it feels like you are in a dark place. But if you continue to be with it no matter how hard and uncomfortable, after a while, you feel a certain spaciousness inside you. The pain is still there but it doesn’t matter that much because it has been diffused into the infinite space of the universe. You have allowed the universe to love you and care for you.
For example, you are having a heated argument with a loved one (spouse, child, parent). He/she storms out of the house and you are left there with a painful feeling in your body. The immediate reaction is to blame the other person and deny that it was your fault. Or you start feeling depressed and recall all those other moments when somebody hurt you. You are now having a pity party with yourself. Instead of making stories, why not just feel the pain directly? Feeling the pain is always better than making stories. Stories have conclusions. It is too early to draw conclusions about life because life is ever changing and is unfolding every minute. Just let life be and trust in the universe.